My story begins in 2018…

My story begins in 2018, upon giving birth to my second child via a vbac (vaginal birth after a c-section). After my first delivery ended up in an emergency c-section, I was determined to have a vaginal delivery in hopes of having an easier recovery. I had switched to an OBGYN that was known for having a high vbac rate. 6 days after my due date, I began having contractions. After 12 hours in labor, it was time to push. The pushing part was exhausting and I remember just telling myself “you got this” … sure enough, after 45 minutes of pushing my daughter Lia came out to the world. Immediately thereafter, I felt a tremendous amount of pain. At the same time, I am getting sewed by my OB and wondering whether what I was feeling was a normal amount of pain. I was being very communicative about my pain and was getting assured that it was all “normal”. I was given a lot of pain medications and then wheeled to the recovery room. All the while feeling like the pain is getting stronger and stronger, as well as bleeding through pads at a worrying pace. 5 hours later I had reached my pain threshold and screamed in pain enough to get the attention of one of the attendings on the floor. At this point, she saw my extreme anguish and hypothesized that there are clots built in my uterus that needed to be expelled. She pressed on my stomach and inserted her arm. It was at that moment that I bled a gush of blood, which I now know was half of my blood volume. in a haze, I kept telling myself to stay awake, albeit feeling dizzy and about to black out. I recall the large stream of doctors and nurses in the room in panic. I remember the puddle of blood on the floor. What I didn’t know at that moment was that my life had been changed forever. I received a blood transfusion the next day and was released home 4 days later. 

My attempts to breastfeed my daughter at the hospital were unsuccessful to my surprise. I breastfed my son for over 14 months and it seemed rather strange to me that I was producing no milk. I called up the most experienced lactation consultant in town. I will never forget the puzzled look on her face when she touched my empty breasts: “ you have nothing” she said. After 2 weeks of failed pumping attempts and prescription medications to induce milk production, I realized that breastfeeding was not on the cards. As my daughter’s first year of life progressed, I became progressively more frail and weak. I was losing muscle and weight from my arms and legs and weirdly my stomach  fat was increasing. I was having severe hot flashes at night and throughout the day, especially in moments of frustration or anger. I was having a hard time lifting my daughter’s car seat, struggling to make it through the day without falling asleep, forgetting things left and right, and having frequent anger outbursts. The brain fog was more than the usual “mom brain” especially considering my daughter was a champ sleeper pretty much from the time she came home from the hospital. I was sleeping a full 8 uninterrupted hours and felt drained in the morning. The two biggest factors that contributed to me being proactive about researching what was going on were the fact that I did not get my cycle back almost one year post, as well as morning body aches. Imagine feeling like you have the flu every single morning. 

I started running some blood tests with my GP and OBGYN. They both came back saying everything seemed “normal”. On a whim, I sent my blood results to my husband’s cousin and a close friend who was a starting physician at the time. He looked at my results and called me while I was at work. I will never forget this conversation. He had put the puzzle pieces together: my hemmorage, the lack of ability to breastfeed, and now the lack of a menstrual cycle. “Your pituitary hormones are low. I think you may have Sheehan’s Syndrome”. I immediately did what any other person would… turned to google. What I found made me feel light headed. All I saw was darkness. The words chronic, lifelong, life threatening, and most of all extremely rare. This was the beginning of my journey as a person with a rare chronic illness- words that I never thought would apply to me. In my panic, I was on the hunt for the right endocrinologist to give me a proper diagnosis. One of my friends came across Dr. Theodore Friedman, in LA - an endocrinologist who specializes in pituitary conditions such as hypopituitarism. I was lucky enough to get an appointment with him soon after some blood work and an MRI of the pituitary. A week later, I was sitting across Dr. Friedman hearing him confirm my fears: I had Sheehan's Syndrome. This means that as a result of the severe postpartum hemorrhage I suffered after delivery caused my pituitary gland to lose blood supply and go into a state of shock, and as a result the pituitary gland partially no longer functions. In other words, all the symptoms I was feeling were a direct result of my hormones plummeting during the course of the year I went undiagnosed. Dr. Friedman immediately put me on all of the hormones my body was deficient of: estrogen, progesterone, growth hormone, and testosterone. It took about a year to reach the right combination, and 3 years later, I am getting accustomed to having 2 patches of estrogen on my body at all times, injecting myself with growth hormone shots nightly, and consuming vitamins to support my immune system. 

I am eager to share my story for so many reasons but the main one being that I want to shed light in the path of the women that are currently struggling with getting a diagnosis. I truly know what it feels like when your whole world is collapsing and that there is no end in sight. But I also know what it feels like to feel good and happy again. It is important to note that symptoms came about very gradually, which is the reason why Sheehan’s can be hard to diagnose early on. I am also sharing my story in hope that women who have gone through similar experiences know that no matter how many professionals and doctors tell them things seem normal- if you feel something is off- listen to your gut. Lastly, I cannot stress enough how important it is to find an endocrinologist who will prioritize your quality of life and address your most minute symptoms. I am eternally grateful that Dr. Friedman has made my journey with Sheehan's less daunting by making me a partner to the decisions of my care. 

As I researched about Sheehan’s more and more, I realized how fortunate I was to not be supplementing Cortisol. Although my Cortisol levels are borderline, I am able to function; I have a job, take care of my kids and live a normal life. It has been a rocky road, but I can wholeheartedly say that I feel normal most of the time. I have developed anxiety as a result of my trauma. I get sick more often than most women my age. Getting pregnant is not possible for me unless I go through treatments. The amount of energy I have is finite, so I have learned to take breaks and listen to my body. And with all of that said, I count my blessings. I have a wonderful family and friends, I am able to receive therapy, acupuncture, exercise, and ask for help when things get overwhelming. Regardless of the struggles, I am grateful for being able to raise my kids and watch them grow alongside my husband- something I do not take for granted one bit.